How to smile more: 12 ways to naturally boost your confidence
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Want to feel more confident and have a better social life? Learn how to smile more with 12 simple exercises that can help you build trust and connect with others.
If you’ve ever had someone tell you to smile more, you may know how uncomfortable this interaction can be. It can come across as patronizing, or worse, as an attempt to manage your emotional expression (which never feels good). The reality is that some people have a more neutral resting face, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
But what happens when the suggestion comes from you to yourself? Not as a demand, but as an invitation? Well, research shows that even the smallest smile can shift your mood, regulate your nervous system, and send signals to others that you’re approachable and friendly. Sounds pretty good, right?
Let’s dig into the why and how smiling can affect your wellbeing positively — and uncover a few accessible ways to invite more ease, warmth, and maybe even joy into your daily life.
What is the psychology behind smiling?
Here’s something pretty cool: When you smile, it creates a physiological feedback loop that has real consequences for your brain, your body, and your emotional state. See, your brain actually takes cues from your facial muscles all the time, and it often interprets a smile as a sign that things are okay and that you’re safe. This phenomenon, called the facial feedback hypothesis, has been studied for decades.
This hypothesis states that when you move your face into the shape of a smile, your brain can start to release feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. These are the same chemicals associated with happiness and calm. That means a smile can help create a good mood.
Smiling can also help lower your heart rate, reduce stress, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body responsible for relaxation. In high-stress moments, this can help quietly shift your internal state away from fight-or-flight into something softer.
The great thing about smiling is that even something as subtle as a half-smile can start this feedback loop.
What effects can smiling have on others (and your social life)?
Smiling can change the mood in a room, connect you more with strangers, and even boost your reputation without saying a word. Here’s how:
It makes you more approachable: When people see a genuine smile, their guard may drop, which could lead them to feel a bit safer. You’re also seen as easier to talk to, easier to trust, and easier to connect with.
It spreads emotional warmth: Some studies suggest that smiling triggers mirror neurons in another person's brain. This means that when someone sees a smile, it gently nudges them to smile back. That micro-moment of shared positivity can really shift someone’s whole day — and yours, too.
It builds trust: Research shows that people who smile are often seen as more trustworthy and competent. Plus, a smile can help create enough safety in team settings or tense conversations to move things forward.
It invites reciprocity: The act of smiling makes people feel good, and when people feel good in your presence, they’re more likely to open up, offer help, or remember you fondly.
It breaks tension: Taking a moment to smile, especially in emotionally charged situations, can act like a pressure valve. It helps signal that maybe things aren’t as bad as they feel — or at the very least, that we can face them with humanity.
How to train yourself to smile more confidently: 12 smile training techniques
If you’re not a “smiley” person, you don’t need to start faking smiles all the time to feel better. Instead, the trick is to look for ways to create space for more natural warmth and connection.
Here are 12 smile training techniques that can help you find more of that warmth and connection.
1. Do a ‘face scan’ check-in during the day
We can carry a lot of tension in our faces. A quick facial check-in can help you release that tension and allow your natural expressions to soften.
At certain points of the day, you can ask yourself, “What’s my face doing right now?” Then consciously try to unclench your jaw and breathe.
💙 Get your face a little more ready to smile by listening to our Body Scan session with Tamara Levitt.
2. Practice micro-smiling during private moments
Try smiling softly to yourself while brushing your teeth or walking around the block. This can build muscle memory and get your face used to that shape in a low-pressure way.
3. Use positive memory prompts
When your brain associates smiling with genuine warmth or joy, it can start to access those feelings a little more easily.
Try thinking of a person or place that brings you comfort. Then let the smile arise from that memory. It doesn't have to be big. You could just think about your pet greeting you at the door, or a joke a friend told you. If you need an assist, watch a video or look through photos of your favorite people or pets.
(Here are 10 ways to re-find joy if you haven’t felt happy lately.)
4. Smile with your eyes
Genuine smiles engage the muscles around your eyes. When your eyes crinkle, people can feel the difference. Consider smiling with your eyes in the mirror, not for vanity but for connection.
To help you get there, try thinking about someone you love or a favorite memory.
💙 Listen to this session on Love with Tamara Levitt to inspire a deeper smile.
5. Mirror others in conversation
Humans naturally mimic each other’s facial expressions. You can lean into this by mirroring someone else’s smile during a talk. This can build rapport, ease tension, and make you both feel a little more connected.
6. Anchor your smile to everyday rituals
To make your smile more habitual, pair it with something you already do like saying “thank you,” answering the phone, or checking your reflection. These mini rituals can help naturally cue your brain to smile more.
7. Work on your posture
Your posture influences your mood and your face. Slouched shoulders and a tight chest can actually send signals throughout your body to feel less joy.
To avoid this, stand or sit with your chest open, shoulders soft, and neck long.
8. Unlink smiling from being ‘performative’
Some people—especially women and neurodivergent folks—have been told their whole lives to “smile more.” This kind of pressure can create a natural resistance to smiling altogether.
To not deprive yourself of the benefits of smiling, reclaim it. Smile when and how you want to. Don’t do it because it’s expected, do it because you enjoy it.
9. Do gentle face exercises
Like any muscle, your face benefits from movement, and smiling can feel awkward if those muscles are tight.
Try light facial yoga to help make it more natural. Puff out your cheeks, stretch your mouth into a wide grin, and then relax. This can build a little more ease and awareness over time.
10. Laugh more, even in small ways
Laughter and smiling are closely connected. Plus, it’s contagious. Watch a funny video, scroll a wholesome meme account, or read a text from a funny friend. A small chuckle can reset your facial muscles and boost your mood. You can even practice laughing yoga (here’s how).
11. Give someone else a reason to smile
When you make someone laugh or say something thoughtful, their reaction can light you up more than you expect. This moment can create a smile that’s real, reciprocal, and also meaningful.
12. Practice mindful smiling during stressful moments
If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, experiment with softening your face and inviting a gentle smile to ground yourself. This can signal to your nervous system that you’re okay.
You could also combine this with breathwork by inhaling deeply, exhaling slowly, and letting your face relax into a faint smile. Even if this lasts one second, that can be enough to do the trick.
(Here are 10 other breathing exercises you can try that can help you manage stress.)
How to smile more FAQs
What if I feel self-conscious about my smile?
Feeling self-conscious about your smile is very common. Many people carry a little discomfort around their appearance, especially when it’s tied to something so visible and expressive.
In moments when you feel this way, remind yourself that a genuine, imperfect smile is usually more endearing than a picture-perfect one. To help you feel better about it, try focusing on the warmth behind your smile rather than the aesthetics. People respond to presence, not polish.
If your self-consciousness runs deeper, consider working with a therapist or body image specialist. They might be able to help you get to the root cause of why you feel this way.
How do I smile without feeling fake?
Start by redefining what a smile “should” be. It doesn’t need to be big to be real. Sometimes a soft, subtle smile can feel more genuine than a forced grin. A good way to smile more easily is to let it come from something true, like a kind thought, a calm breath, or a moment of recognition.
If smiling feels fake to you, this could be because you’re trying to match someone else’s expectations instead of your own.
To help you smile more authentically, practice smiling in private first. You could watch something funny or think of someone you love. This can help it be less about performance and more about embodiment. Then, over time, your body can start to recognize and trust that feeling.
Is it okay if I’m not a naturally smiley person?
There’s nothing wrong with being more reserved or not smiling all the time. Not everyone lights up a room with a grin, and that’s okay. Smiling more can be helpful for connection, but it’s not a requirement for being kind, confident, or emotionally intelligent.
If your natural state is more neutral, building meaningful connections is still possible. A good way to connect more is to be present and actively listen when interacting with others.
Does smiling make people trust you more?
Smiling has been shown to make people trust you more, but there’s a nuance to this. People often perceive those who smile as more trustworthy, approachable, and competent. But it’s also important to distinguish between a real smile and one that feels fake.
Trust builds when your expression matches your emotional state. If you’re smiling to hide discomfort or because you feel obligated, people usually pick up on that disconnect.
On the other hand, a natural smile—especially in moments of warmth or empathy—can act like emotional glue. These smiles help others feel safe, which is the foundation of trust.
Are there smiling exercises that can help my confidence?
There are smiling exercises that can help your confidence. By gently smiling more, you can influence your internal emotional state.
Try starting with micro-smiles while doing mundane tasks, or practicing “smiling with your eyes” in the mirror. You can also pair smiling with affirmations or gratitude practices. This creates a feedback loop because the physical act reinforces your emotional experience, and vice versa.
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