Why sleep can have a big impact on your emotional regulation

Mental Health

Jun 19

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Ever feel your emotions harder after a bad night's sleep? Explore how sleep can impact your emotional regulation, and 9 simple tips to boost your rest (and your feelings).

Ever had one of those days where everything grates on your nerves? The barista misspells your name, someone breathes too loudly next to you in line at your coffee shop, or you’re suddenly blinking back tears after getting constructive criticism from your boss? If this sounds familiar, it's not just you — and it's probably not just a “bad mood.” It might be your sleep.

When you don’t get enough rest, your brain’s ability to regulate emotions takes a serious hit. Poor sleep isn’t just exhausting, it also throws your emotional regulation off course… It turns up the volume on stress, frustration, and overwhelm. Small inconveniences feel enormous and deeply upsetting.

So if you’re tired of feeling big emotions after a restless night, let’s improve our sleep in small and low-pressure ways. Here’s what you need to know.

What effect does sleep have on emotional regulation?

While you’re sleeping, your mind quietly sifts through the chaos of the day and tries to make sense of it all. And when you’re well-rested, this behind-the-scenes work helps you wake up a little more grounded.

Studies show that sleep, especially REM sleep, helps regulate activity in the amygdala, which is the primary part of the brain responsible for emotional reactivity. It also strengthens the prefrontal cortex, which is largely in charge of impulse control. Without enough rest, these regions fall out of sync and can cause emotional volatility and an increased risk of anxiety and depression.

This means you’re more likely to cry, feel irrationally annoyed, and spiral. You may even find it harder to name or understand what you’re feeling. Chronic sleep deprivation has the potential to reshape how your nervous system functions. This can then make it harder for you to bounce back from stress and emotional overwhelm.

4 reasons sleep helps process and regulate emotions

Getting enough sleep is critical for emotional processing and regulation. Here are four reasons why:

1. Sleep processes memory and regulates emotional intensity: Sleep, particularly rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, facilitates the processing and integration of emotional experiences. During REM sleep, the brain reactivates and reorganizes emotional memories, which can reduce the intensity of emotional responses to prior experiences. Insufficient REM sleep is associated with persistent emotional reactivity to previous stressors.

2. Sleep assists with emotional regulation: Sleep supports emotional regulation by maintaining functional connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala. Sleep deprivation disrupts this connectivity, resulting in increased amygdala reactivity and impaired top-down control from the prefrontal cortex, which leads to heightened emotional lability and reduced capacity for adaptive emotion regulation.

3. Sleep helps you de-stress: Sleep contributes to the regulation of physiological stress systems, including the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and autonomic nervous system. Poor or insufficient sleep is associated with elevated baseline stress markers, such as cortisol, and increased vulnerability to emotional stressors.

4. Sleep can help you feel more resilient: Sufficient sleep enhances emotional resilience, social functioning, and empathy. Sleep loss is linked to reduced empathy, increased irritability, and impaired social cognition, which can negatively affect interpersonal relationships and overall emotional wellbeing.

How to get better sleep to improve your emotional regulation: 9 mindful tips

Regulating your emotions can really change how you show up for yourself every day. To have the best shot at feeling the most like yourself, here are nine practical tips to improve your sleep.

1. Give yourself time to wind down

As much as you may want to fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow it may not happen. Your brain needs a transition into sleep, and a wind-down window can help tell you that it’s time to get ready for rest.

To fall asleep easier, put your phone away and dim the lights. Then try stretching, journaling, or listening to a calming meditation.

💙 Relax your body by listening to Soften into Sleep with Chibs Okereke.

2. Declutter your mind before bed

Any way you slice it, trying to drift off with a brain full of stuff, isn’t easy. Writing things down can reduce mental clutter and reassure your brain that it won’t forget something important.

Try keeping a notepad or notes app by your bed. Write down to-dos, worries, or reminders and then give yourself permission to revisit them tomorrow.

3. Have a consistent wake-up time

We know you probably love to sleep in on weekends, but it’s not always the best plan. Keep your wakeup time consistent as this helps regulate your circadian rhythm. Over time, this can also naturally shift your bedtime earlier without you having to force it.

4. Get some fresh air and sunshine

Light is one of the strongest signals to your brain’s sleep-wake cycle. In the morning, get sunlight in your eyes within an hour of waking. Go outside, open a window, or just step onto the sidewalk for five minutes.

Also in the evening, dim your lights 1–2 hours before bed.

5. Ditch the doomscrolling

Social media and news apps are designed to hijack attention and delay melatonin release. To get you sleepier easier, set a last scroll time. Even just 30 minutes off your screen before bed can help. Try replacing it with something soothing like drawing or listening to a calming audio story.

💙 Go on a dreamy adventure by listening to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sleep story Adventures in Puerto Rico.

6. Rely on the breath

It might sound cliche but tuning into the break can really help reduce stress and move you towards sleep. Breathwork is one of the easiest ways to get you ready for sleep and calm down your nervous system.

A breathing exercise you could do is breathe in for four counts, out for six, and then repeat this for a few minutes. Make sure to exhale longer than you inhale.

7. Turn your bedroom into your sleep sanctuary

Set up your sleep environment for optimal relaxation. Some small shifts you can make are keeping your room cool, blocking out light with blackout curtains, and using a fan or white noise machine to drown out disruptions.

8. Reframe the “I can’t sleep” spiral

If you’re lying awake for more than 20 minutes, your brain may start associating your bed with stress.

To break the cycle, get up and do something non-stimulating. You could sit on the couch and read a book or make yourself some lavender tea. Then, return to bed when you feel sleepy again.

9. Embrace progress, not perfection

You will have off nights, and that’s okay. When this happens, reframe it in your mind. One bad night won’t ruin your mental health, just like one good night won’t solve everything.

Instead of telling yourself, “I must get eight hours,” try, “I’m building a relationship with rest.” This can help take the pressure off sleep and also help you doze off easier.

Sleep emotional regulation FAQs

Can lack of sleep mess with my emotions?

It can definitely mess with your emotions. Without enough rest, the amygdala—the primary part of the brain that processes emotional intensity—can become hyperactive. Additionally, the prefrontal cortex, which helps with logic and impulse control, can basically go offline. This makes it harder to stay calm.

You might also feel more irritable, anxious, tearful, or overwhelmed. Over time, chronic sleep deprivation can also increase your risk of mood disorders like depression and anxiety.

Is my emotional state related to my sleep quality?

Your emotional state is related to your sleep quality, and the relationship goes both ways. Poor sleep can make emotions harder to manage, while heightened emotional stress can disrupt your ability to fall asleep.

When you’re emotionally dysregulated, your nervous system stays activated. This can then interfere with the wind-down process your body needs before rest. On the flip side, when you get good quality rest, your brain has the chance to process emotions and restore your internal equilibrium.

What type of sleep is required for good emotional regulation?

REM sleep is crucial for emotional regulation. It’s during this phase that your brain processes emotional memories. This helps to reduce their intensity and make them feel more manageable. But deep sleep also plays an important role by allowing your brain and body to fully recharge.

Each stage of your sleep serves a different function, and cycling through them regularly is key to balanced emotional processing.

How does sleep help with emotional processing?

Sleep allows you to relive emotional experiences in a way that’s stripped of their sharpest edges. This can help you to file away memories and integrate them without being emotionally overwhelmed.

Additionally, sleep helps you gain perspective. Also it lowers your stress hormone levels like cortisol and resets your nervous system. In short, sleep reshapes how you feel about your memories.

What’s the fastest way to sleep better and feel calmer?

There’s no perfect way, but starting with one small shift can lead to meaningful change. A consistent wind-down routine can signal to your body that it’s time to shift gears. Breathing exercises and gentle stretches can help nudge your nervous system into rest mode.

Also, getting sunlight in the morning and limiting screen time before bed can do wonders for your internal clock.

Calm your mind. Change your life.

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Calm Editorial Team