14 self-care tips to help busy moms feel like themselves again
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Self-care is important for everyone, but it's critical for busy moms. And we promise it's possible. Explore 14 tips to help you build a realistic self-care routine.
If you’re a mother, you might laugh when someone suggests you need to be taking better care of yourself.
Between your mental load, career pressures, and the emotional labor of keeping everyone around you functioning, self-care can feel downright unattainable. Even though you know it’s important, it often ends up at the very bottom of an endless to-do list, overshadowed by everything and everyone else demanding your attention.
Still, caring for yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential. Not only does it connect you to yourself, but it also allows you to be a more present mom, a more productive employee, and a more considerate loved one.
So, how can you make self-care a more meaningful part of your everyday routine? Start by unpacking what self-care truly means, why it matters so much for mothers in particular, and how you can begin to integrate it into your life.
What is self-care?
At its core, self-care is about tending to your most basic needs with intention. It’s the practice of noticing what’s going on inside of you—mentally, emotionally, or physically—and meeting your own needs. This could mean going to bed earlier, stepping outside for five minutes to breathe, or just allowing yourself to cry.
Self-care doesn’t need to be polished, because it’s not about becoming your “best self.” All you’re doing is staying connected to yourself, especially when everything else is pulling you away.
Why is self-care important for busy moms?
When you’re a mom, you’re often taking care of so many people, but your needs matter too. Here’s why self-care is so important for busy moms:
You are not a machine: Many times, you’re expected to power through no matter what else is going on, but you’re a person who needs attention, too. Self-care helps you function from a place of strength, and not survival.
You’re carrying an invisible mental load: Managing everyone’s everything is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Self-care offers you space to pause and reset.
Burnout is a real thing: When you’re looking after everyone else, it can be easy to lose sight of yourself. But self-care helps you stay tethered to who you are beyond the roles you fill.
Your wellbeing affects your family’s wellbeing: If you’re cared for, you show up with more patience and presence. That energy ripples through your family.
You matter as a whole person: Self-care isn’t just about becoming a “better mom.” It’s about remembering that you are someone worth caring for, simply because you exist, not because of what you do for everyone else.
How busy moms can make time for self-care
To state the obvious, most moms don’t have a ton of extra time to focus on themselves. But making the most of the little chunks of time that are slightly less busy than others can make a big difference in a person’s mental health.
Here are five practical ways you can reclaim those tiny moments and make them count:
1. Stack care onto what you’re already doing: Try doing a grounding breath while making tea, or stretching your shoulders while you wait for the microwave. You could also listen to a calming playlist while you clean up.
2. Use “found” time — even if it’s 90 seconds: When the baby finally falls asleep in the car seat, or your kids are momentarily occupied, take one deep breath, and then one more. Also, make a concerted effort to sip your coffee while it’s still warm, or to lie down for three minutes and close your eyes.
3. Shift how you define productivity: Reframe self-care as something that supports your role, and not something that competes with it. Rest is a reset, and boundaries keep you from breaking.
4. Ask for help without apology: Making time for yourself requires support, and asking for it can feel vulnerable. Remember that you don’t have to earn rest. Ask to trade off bedtime duties, or call in a grandparent or friend to help out.
5. Let it be messy and imperfect: Some days, self-care might look like a walk around the block. Other days, it’s locking the bathroom door and scrolling on your phone for 10 minutes in peace — and that’s okay. Remind yourself to start where you are, and then let that be enough.
How to create your own self-care routine: 14 tips to feel more like yourself
There’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all self-care routine, especially when you’re a mom. Your days are unpredictable, your time isn’t your own, and your needs shift constantly. Instead of chasing the perfect “routine,” focus on building a toolkit: a collection of small, adaptable strategies that support your wellbeing.
Here are 15 self-care tips that are doable, even when your life feels out of control.
1. Start where you are
If all you have is one minute, use that minute.
One slow, intentional breath while your kids are yelling still counts. Self-care doesn’t require silence, just showing up.
Read more: 10 types of breathing exercises (and how to practice them)
2. Build micro-moments into your day
To anchor yourself in your body, incorporate grounding small moments into your routine.
You could savor the feeling of hot water during your shower, stretch your arms while waiting for the kettle to boil, or just look out the window and name five things you see.
3. Keep a ‘done’ list instead of a to-do list
To shift out of survival mode, jot down what you did today, and not just what you didn’t get to. This could include “fed the kids,” “answered 47 questions,” and “picked up the dry cleaning.”
Acknowledging your effort is a form of self-recognition, and that’s self-care, too.
4. Involve your senses
When you’re mentally overloaded, sensory grounding can help regulate your nervous system.
You could light a candle to tap into your sense of smell, or hold something cool to engage your sense of touch.
💙 Listening to Grounding with Tamara Levitt can help you figure out new ways to stay connected to yourself.
5. Create simple “rituals” that signal care
Rituals don’t have to be elaborate. Consider reaching for your favorite mug every morning or taking three deep breaths before you check your phone.
Small habits that are repeated with intention can become powerful anchors.
6. Give your brain a break
Mental load is real. Try getting everything out of your head and onto paper. This can bring a surprising amount of relief.
Read more: How mental load can impact your life (and 10 tips to manage it)
7. Say no without guilt
If something drains you more than it feeds you, like an extra activity or a yes you regret, practice the art of the soft no.
To protect your energy, consider saying something like, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
8. Use tech to support your rest
If your phone is always within reach, make it work for you. Try setting reminders for hydration or breaks. Also, mute or unfollow accounts that drain you. It’s just not worth it.
9. Move your body in ways that feel good
Activities like walking, dancing in the kitchen with your kids, or doing five minutes of stretching before bed can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to balance.
💙 Movement can also be a way to bring joy into your life. Mel Mah’s Moving for Fun can show you how.
10. Make rest a priority
You need rest to function. Squeeze in those moments when you can. Lie down when your kids are watching TV or close your eyes for three minutes in the car before pickup.
Remember, rest is productive.
11. Reconnect with parts of yourself outside of motherhood
What made you feel alive before kids? Going to concerts? Reading? Trying a new restaurant? You don’t have to reclaim your whole identity overnight. Just pick one thread and follow it — even if only for 10 minutes.
12. Have one go-to reset button
When you’re overwhelmed, have a reset button in mind that can bring you back to balance.
This could be a breathing exercise, a five-minute journaling practice, or a mantra — whatever works for you.
13. Practice receiving help
You don’t need to do it all to be a good mom. So, say yes when someone offers support, let your partner step in, and ask for what you need — even if it feels awkward.
14. Be gentle with yourself
Some days you’re going to nail it. Others, not so much — and that’s okay. Self-care is not about mastery. It’s about self-respect.
What matters most is that you keep showing up and that you’re kind to yourself on the days when you need it most.
Self-care for moms FAQs
What are some quick self-care ideas for busy moms?
Quick self-care might sound ineffective, but it can actually create meaningful shifts in your nervous system. Here are a few ideas you can try:
Take three deep, grounding breaths in the car before walking into the house.
Drink a glass of water slowly and mindfully.
Step outside and feel the air on your skin for one full minute.
Listen to a song you love.
How do I switch off as a mom?
Putting your phone down and focusing on your breath for a minute, or using a visualization to imagine yourself somewhere peaceful, are two good ways you can switch off as a mom. You could also do a short grounding practice when your kids are watching a show or napping.
Tiny mental breaks like this can help you come back to center.
How to prioritize self-care as a mum?
Prioritize self-care by giving yourself permission to take up space in your own life. So, say no to something optional, block off 10 minutes in your day for yourself, or choose rest over catching up on the dishes.
You’re more equipped to care for others when you’re (at least partially) cared for, too.
Is self-care different from self-indulgence?
Self-care and self-indulgence are different. Self-care is about nourishment. It’s about doing what helps you feel grounded and healthy, like sleep, boundaries, hydration, rest, connection, and support. On the other hand, self-indulgence is more about momentary gratification, like eating a treat or binge-watching TV.
The difference between the two is intention. Self-care is restorative, and it strengthens your capacity to keep going, whereas self-indulgence can typically numb you out.
How do I make self-care a habit when I’m overwhelmed?
When you’re overwhelmed, it can be easy to believe that self-care is one more thing to fail at. But the trick is to go small. Taking one breath, drinking one glass of water, or listening to one song that you love can help calm you down and bring you back to yourself.
You could also look for things you already do every day, and tack on care. For example, you could take a grounding breath every time you open the fridge, or you could do a little stretch while your coffee brews.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
